My eyes are heavy as I type this, saddened by the loss of our sweet pooch. A few months ago we learned what we thought was the arthritis of old age was a tumor.
Pain meds and prednisone bought us six weeks of having our puppy back in fine form, and then he slipped back. The tumor had grown.
Because the boys hadn't had a chance to say goodbye, we opted for another, stronger, course of steroids. Every day of the last two weeks has been a blessing. Seeing Rogue gain his energy and strength for a while, as well as having our private time to tell him what he meant to us.
Today he seemed fine, until after lunch when he started throwing up. At first I wrote it off as his overzealous consumption of Grace's hot dog bits. But after his second spell, I knew something was off. Though he didn't complain, he couldn't seem to get comfortable, unable to decide if he wanted to be inside or out.
Eventually he came in, having more trouble with walking than usual. Within the hour his breathing was laboured. We thought this might be it, so made an appointment with the vet. The boys each took some time alone with him, and Jeff left work. But after I helped him up one last time, he went and laid by his favorite chair. And as I held him, he rose above us.
Jeff was saddened that he didn't make it home in time, but glad that we were able to give Rogue a peaceful, loving goodbye.
We will miss you, black dog. We will miss the way you introduced yourself to the neighbors (through the fence), the way you thought the blankies I gave you were food, how you loved the smell of baby so much you were able to predict my labor. The way you'd jump for ice cubes, burrow your nose in baby carseats, and dance with us in the kitchen. How you would bark like crazy at the doorbell, and then check the pockets of whomever was at the door for treats. No, I won't have to yell for you to shut your beak, chase you back in the house when you wander to the neighbors, or wonder if Grace ate her dinner or if you helped. But I will miss every moment I don't have the opportunity now.
Thank you for teaching us how amazing it is to be loved by a dog. Forever.
2 comments:
I'm so glad you were there for him right up to and including his last moments.
I'm blubbering huge tears for you and will hold our wonderful dog extra close today.
Please know we are all thinking about you. My boys have been very concerned since they heard Rogue was sick.
Sending love across he miles.
I understand exactly how you feel. My husband and I have been married 50 years and during that time we have never been without a four legged friend. We have had many tears but would not have thought about not having a canine friend in our home. At the moment we have a dachshund and a puggle. They are both so silly and we love them dearly. My heart goes out to you and your family..
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